Continuing the saga of "Jam and the Boy"
Continuing the saga of "Jam and the Boy"
If you're interested, this weekend's events can be found here
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick
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miftah
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You are like a date away from having the really frank and friendly (yet risky) "what are we doing here?" conversation. If brought up and dealt with without pressure, the relationship conversion is painless and fun. If any pressure is felt by him at all, he could bolt.
But you're almost there. There aren't many steps left inside. Unfortunately, they're all on a tightrope. Keep the situation loose and fun, and he won't be able to help himself. Guys look for the lowest bargain price in quantities of hassle/nagging. The less hassle the better the deal. And the more likely we are to commit to something longer.
Another thing. That kiss. You can't coax it and that's it. Don't ask for it and don't try and telepathically suggest it. Trust me when I say that he's thinking about doing it. Its a given. Your time together flying is beyond a date. Hell, thats a bedmaker for most. He IS trying to win you. You just have to keep yourself available to it, and be ready to receive it when he finally figures out that he can get away with it. Its a courage/timing/positioning algorythm that is far too complex for alphanumeric symbols to ever diagram. Unfortunately, that means not turning your head next time. If you sensed it was the moment, then he probably did too. If you were there, you might have gotten what you were after.
If you had an actively and openly flirty relationship, I would advise you to reject his first attempt at a kiss - let it ride and allow his desire to steep a little longer. But since your friendship has a base of candor and respect to it, I'd say just let it happen. No games here. Just genuine desire and the expression of it.
Just remember to breath and have fun. From this side of it all, it looks very promising. Like I said, I think you're almost there.
But you're almost there. There aren't many steps left inside. Unfortunately, they're all on a tightrope. Keep the situation loose and fun, and he won't be able to help himself. Guys look for the lowest bargain price in quantities of hassle/nagging. The less hassle the better the deal. And the more likely we are to commit to something longer.
Another thing. That kiss. You can't coax it and that's it. Don't ask for it and don't try and telepathically suggest it. Trust me when I say that he's thinking about doing it. Its a given. Your time together flying is beyond a date. Hell, thats a bedmaker for most. He IS trying to win you. You just have to keep yourself available to it, and be ready to receive it when he finally figures out that he can get away with it. Its a courage/timing/positioning algorythm that is far too complex for alphanumeric symbols to ever diagram. Unfortunately, that means not turning your head next time. If you sensed it was the moment, then he probably did too. If you were there, you might have gotten what you were after.
If you had an actively and openly flirty relationship, I would advise you to reject his first attempt at a kiss - let it ride and allow his desire to steep a little longer. But since your friendship has a base of candor and respect to it, I'd say just let it happen. No games here. Just genuine desire and the expression of it.
Just remember to breath and have fun. From this side of it all, it looks very promising. Like I said, I think you're almost there.
"Fear of the bee means the honey is for me" - Jhonn Balance
and tonight's epic adventure....
Tonight, I called him around 6ish (as I was leaving work) to see if he wanted to grab some dinner. He was in the middle of eating dinner so he of course declined - no worries as I wasn't particularly hungry but had a craving for Pad Thai. (Hence the purchase of the Thai cookbook, although I'm fairly certain I already have one) *note - this refers to an earlier livejournal post in which i let the world know what books i had purchased because obviously someone needed to know)
Moving along - I asked if he had evening plans (I'm getting bolder!) and he said that he didn't have anything to do other than go check on the plane and that he'd call me when he was finished.
He called at about 8:30 or so and bitched about the mechanic (rightfully so! I’m not invested in this and *I* want to kick his ass. We agreed that he would come here.
Commence the running around cleaning.
We chatted for a bit, he played with the bird. Buttons just loved him! He immediately asked for neck scritches and did the "Birdie Bob and Weave" - he also played with the cats (to which he's allergic and I felt just terrible)
We then watched Event Horizon, and chatted throughout about the sheer stupidity of this movie.
I mentioned I was hungry and we settled on Denny's because it was 10:30 and I live in a town where everything closes at 8 pm. Hilarity and excellent conversation ensued.
There was much laughter, spilling of water and a kiddie cup (for him) brought out by the flaming homosexual waiter who I just wanted to put in my clutch and take home. Excellent waiter!
Oh, I really like this boy.
In the car after we pulled up to my place we somehow got on the subject of education and just exactly what's wrong with the current system. I must say that all lusting aside, we share the same opinions on some pretty major issues.
We talked about how the education system is geared toward popping out workers instead of people and how there isn't enough focus on life skills. I mentioned my frustration at the fact that education is geared toward the average child, which often leaves the below and above average child out in the cold.
I also voiced my opinion on feminists who think women who choose to stay at home and raise their children are not reaching their full potential. I for one think that is a flaming load of crap. I have the utmost respect for a woman who chooses to stay at home with her children and be a housewife. Its damn hard work!
The conversation wound down, as it was well past midnight.
There was another hug (initiated by him) and I did not turn my face away, but there were no visible “he’s going to kiss me†signs. It was an "in the car" hug so positioning was not all that great. I know where (geographically) I want my first kiss with him to be, and it's not in a car. There are two options that I would just be pleased as punch with:
1) Walking around the Port Angeles airfield (incredibly romantic)
-or-
2) After putting the plane away at Midfield.
I definitely think it should be an outside thing. I don't know why, it's just the way I feel.
Oh...I like the boy. I like him a lot.
Moving along - I asked if he had evening plans (I'm getting bolder!) and he said that he didn't have anything to do other than go check on the plane and that he'd call me when he was finished.
He called at about 8:30 or so and bitched about the mechanic (rightfully so! I’m not invested in this and *I* want to kick his ass. We agreed that he would come here.
Commence the running around cleaning.
We chatted for a bit, he played with the bird. Buttons just loved him! He immediately asked for neck scritches and did the "Birdie Bob and Weave" - he also played with the cats (to which he's allergic and I felt just terrible)
We then watched Event Horizon, and chatted throughout about the sheer stupidity of this movie.
I mentioned I was hungry and we settled on Denny's because it was 10:30 and I live in a town where everything closes at 8 pm. Hilarity and excellent conversation ensued.
There was much laughter, spilling of water and a kiddie cup (for him) brought out by the flaming homosexual waiter who I just wanted to put in my clutch and take home. Excellent waiter!
Oh, I really like this boy.
In the car after we pulled up to my place we somehow got on the subject of education and just exactly what's wrong with the current system. I must say that all lusting aside, we share the same opinions on some pretty major issues.
We talked about how the education system is geared toward popping out workers instead of people and how there isn't enough focus on life skills. I mentioned my frustration at the fact that education is geared toward the average child, which often leaves the below and above average child out in the cold.
I also voiced my opinion on feminists who think women who choose to stay at home and raise their children are not reaching their full potential. I for one think that is a flaming load of crap. I have the utmost respect for a woman who chooses to stay at home with her children and be a housewife. Its damn hard work!
The conversation wound down, as it was well past midnight.
There was another hug (initiated by him) and I did not turn my face away, but there were no visible “he’s going to kiss me†signs. It was an "in the car" hug so positioning was not all that great. I know where (geographically) I want my first kiss with him to be, and it's not in a car. There are two options that I would just be pleased as punch with:
1) Walking around the Port Angeles airfield (incredibly romantic)
-or-
2) After putting the plane away at Midfield.
I definitely think it should be an outside thing. I don't know why, it's just the way I feel.
Oh...I like the boy. I like him a lot.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick
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Re: and tonight's epic adventure....
Ugh... Hellraiser in space. Quite possibly the most wasted 2 hours of my life.mudflap wrote:We then watched Event Horizon, and chatted throughout about the sheer stupidity of this movie.
Bad, bad, BAD film!
"That's What"
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miftah
- le moth
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I saw it in the theaters, ironically when I first moved to Spokane in '97. The only reason I saw it was that some friends of mine helped Michael Kamen with some electronic elements in the score, and I wanted to hear what they had done. It didn't occur to me until I was there that I should probably have just bought the score on CD.
"Fear of the bee means the honey is for me" - Jhonn Balance
I have a insatiable appetite for bad horror and sci-fi movies 
Last edited by mudflap on Wed May 04, 2005 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick
-
miftah
- le moth
- Posts: 2703
- Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2003 5:15 pm
- Location: Assland, OH
- Has thanked: 22 times
- Been thanked: 15 times
- Contact:
I don't like that hug. I must disclose that I think he may be fucking with you. And not in the fun way.
Different tack:
Ask him about his past relationships. Ask him about what he looks for. Be VERY reticent regarding yours. If I were there I would offer to be your "secretly platonic, but potential competition" friend. This bird needs to be flushed from the brush, and he's just getting more and more comfortable.
DON'T ask him about sex, but run with it if he brings it up. If he brings it up, let him clear the path to what's preferable in that arena ("I really like oral sex." "Yeah, oral sex is pretty good. And I like anal too" "Whaaa?!!!"). Its a thin line for a guy between keeper and whore. Mind your spidey senses' tinglin'.
The gun thing is a good sign. Short of asking a fratguy if you can watch football, you cannot win a guy's affection quicker. Avoid devilish looks in your eyes if you can avoid them whilst holding the gun, but have fun and look for a chance to have him show you how to aim. It'll get his arms around you as you line up the sights. Embarassing but extremely effective.
One more body language tip: Get in his space when possible. For instance: If he's standing at the kitchen cabinet, getting a glass, reach over his shoulder and grab yourself one, letting yourself press against his back. There are other situations, but this is a good way of saying the path has been cleared.
Hope this helps and tell me if you really don't want this advice.
Different tack:
Ask him about his past relationships. Ask him about what he looks for. Be VERY reticent regarding yours. If I were there I would offer to be your "secretly platonic, but potential competition" friend. This bird needs to be flushed from the brush, and he's just getting more and more comfortable.
DON'T ask him about sex, but run with it if he brings it up. If he brings it up, let him clear the path to what's preferable in that arena ("I really like oral sex." "Yeah, oral sex is pretty good. And I like anal too" "Whaaa?!!!"). Its a thin line for a guy between keeper and whore. Mind your spidey senses' tinglin'.
The gun thing is a good sign. Short of asking a fratguy if you can watch football, you cannot win a guy's affection quicker. Avoid devilish looks in your eyes if you can avoid them whilst holding the gun, but have fun and look for a chance to have him show you how to aim. It'll get his arms around you as you line up the sights. Embarassing but extremely effective.
One more body language tip: Get in his space when possible. For instance: If he's standing at the kitchen cabinet, getting a glass, reach over his shoulder and grab yourself one, letting yourself press against his back. There are other situations, but this is a good way of saying the path has been cleared.
Hope this helps and tell me if you really don't want this advice.
"Fear of the bee means the honey is for me" - Jhonn Balance
Well, I just don't know what to think - I keep getting mixed signals.miftah wrote:I don't like that hug. I must disclose that I think he may be fucking with you. And not in the fun way.
Last edited by mudflap on Sat May 07, 2005 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick
