Of course, she got on the plane late and there wasn't any space in the overhead, and since she is sitting in a bulkhead row there isn't any space "under the seat in front of you" to put anything. She calmly plops her unbelievably huge bag on the ground in front of her and buckles up. The flight attendent lets her know that it has to be stored in the overhead bin. There is only space in the back of the plane. Deeply offended she looks in all the over head bins between the row where she is and the back of the plane, leaving open every door as she does it. The flight attendent had just closed them minutes before.
She eats like a messy three year old, with water spilling from the side of the cup, pieces of the food she is trying to put in her mouth falling on her shirt, etc.
At one point in the flight she decides NOW would be a good time to check my voice mail on my cell phone, I think we were somewhere around Greenland. She just couldn't understand why she didn't have a good signal, and even compained to me about it. I told her she shouldn't be using her cell phone and she looked at me like *I* was the moron!
So the end of the flight approaches and they let us know we will be landing shortly. About the time the airplane is in final approach (we were about 200 ft off the ground) nature calls, she unbuckles and stands to go to the bathroom. The flight attendent freaks out, SIT DOWN! she replies "I have to pee!", "you can pee after we land in about 30 seconds", "I have to go now..." You get the picture.
The plane lands, taxies and we arrive at the gate. The seat belt light goes off, and she no longer has to pee, the new priority in her life is to get to the back of the plane and get her enormous bag..."excuse me, I need to get my bag" like a salmon swimming up stream. She actually makes it to her bag, and then has to get back where she started...elbowing and excuse me-ing back to where I am...I have to follow her off the plane.
On the way to passport control she is weaving like a drunk in a '74 Cadillac and there is no possible way to get around her. She runs her bag into EVERY corner on the way. She just doesn't even notice this is even a problem. She drug her bag upside down for about 50 yards one time, the only thing that turned it over is another corner she ran into!
I managed to squeeze around her just prior to the zig-zag approach to the passport guys. I didn't even notice if the switchbacks were too much for her to handle...
Don't you just love people?
