Book review

[Rocketdork]

I just finished reading a book by Lynn Ponton M.D. called "The Sex Lives of Teenagers."

I'll start off by saying that I thought the book was great. I think it should be required reading for all parents.

The chapter titles are;
1. Studs and Sluts: The Dating Game
2. Here Comes Puberty: The Many Meanings of Menstruation
3. Alarming Arousal: Sexual Fantasies and Masterbation
4. Safety in Numbers: The Guiltless Mosh Pit
5. Comin and Going Online: The Interface of Sex and Technology
6. Unnatural Partners? Intimacy and Intercourse
7. Not My Child: Homosexuality, Bisexuality and Sexual Orientation
8. A Tale of Two Pregnancies
9. Lara's Theme: Sex, Stigma, and STD's
10. The Dark Side: When Violence and Force Join Sexuality
11. None of My Business: Parents and Sex

The overriding message that I get from the book is; Teen sex is not the parents choice, Teens WANT to talk with their parents about sex, and Parents can't stop their kids from having sex, but they can play a critical role in making sure that their kids sex life is healthy.

Let me start by saying I am looking this issue straight in the face...I have always thought myself to be very open about sex, it turns out I am not as open as I thought, this book helped me to realize this, as well as my experiences at home.

The book points out that all teens have an active sex life, it could just be thoughts, talking, masturbation, fantasy, or actual sex, its important that the Parents realize this and open the lines of communication with thier child. Open, Honest and Frank discussion of all aspects of sexuality with teens (and younger) is the best way to make sure that your child makes the right choices when it comes to sex.

The lines of communcation about sex (and other things) should start early. It lays the ground work of trust and facilitates the hard conversations about sex in the future.

I think the most important message that this book puts forth is that Teen Sex is the TEEN'S choice, not the parent's, but parents play a vital role in that choice. It seems that kids that have that open line of communcation about sex will make choices that are healthy, and positive. Those that don't have that line of communcation are in the dark, they have to rely on what other teens, the media and their (limited) experience teach them, this can, but not always, lead to unhealthy choices. The message is clear, talk to your kids about Sex, lay the ground work for communcation early, develop trust.

The book was a good read, not the dry medical book I expected it to be. It uses stories to illustrate the points, and it does this very well. I was engaged with the struggles of the Teens and their parents used as examples in this book.

Buy it, it'll be the best $10 you spend.