back among the living, or how NOT to lose weight
Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2003 7:14 pm
So the doc thinks the stone is passed.
I am waiting to be sure...he just "feels like it passed" WTF does he know, stupid bastard has spent a grand total of 10 minutes of his life with me...not that the bill will reflect that.
Lessons learned;
Eat when you can. Total food consumption from Tuesday 9:30am till Sunday sleepytime.
1-12oz (340g) container strawberry bananna yogurt - wed evening
1-Ham Sandwich - Saturday evening
2/3 - quiche - Sunday lunch time
1 - tuna sandwich - Sunday evening.
Another fun and effective way to lose 10lbs (4.53kilos) is to saw off your foot with a Spork, you only get one make it last.
Percoset is your friend
Demerol is your BEST friend
Just because you have a last name of Stoner, your "Friends" at work will nickname you kidney...
Lots of women told me that a kidney stone is worse than having a baby. Like that fucking helps! I don't think I've ever had a baby, nope sure of it. I got no basis of comparison. I just hurts real fucking bad. Lets put it in a guys world...Kidney stone, or kick in the balls every 15 mins till I get tired. Yep, sign me up to get kicked...
Doctors only pretend to care.
Doctors have the pain meds...I'll agree to pretend to believe you care if you give me pain meds, otherwise spare me.
Favorite quote of the whole experience from the Russian ER doc, "what narcotic would you prefer, demerol, morphine, ...?"
[EDIT] Could I have the menu?
Close second on the quote from the same doc (imagine a perky cheerleader saying this, well a perky russian cheerleader saying this in her brightest, happiest voice) "Sorry!" It was just bizzare.
I'm not bitter, really!
I am waiting to be sure...he just "feels like it passed" WTF does he know, stupid bastard has spent a grand total of 10 minutes of his life with me...not that the bill will reflect that.
Lessons learned;
Eat when you can. Total food consumption from Tuesday 9:30am till Sunday sleepytime.
1-12oz (340g) container strawberry bananna yogurt - wed evening
1-Ham Sandwich - Saturday evening
2/3 - quiche - Sunday lunch time
1 - tuna sandwich - Sunday evening.
Another fun and effective way to lose 10lbs (4.53kilos) is to saw off your foot with a Spork, you only get one make it last.
Percoset is your friend
Demerol is your BEST friend
Just because you have a last name of Stoner, your "Friends" at work will nickname you kidney...
Lots of women told me that a kidney stone is worse than having a baby. Like that fucking helps! I don't think I've ever had a baby, nope sure of it. I got no basis of comparison. I just hurts real fucking bad. Lets put it in a guys world...Kidney stone, or kick in the balls every 15 mins till I get tired. Yep, sign me up to get kicked...
Doctors only pretend to care.
Doctors have the pain meds...I'll agree to pretend to believe you care if you give me pain meds, otherwise spare me.
Favorite quote of the whole experience from the Russian ER doc, "what narcotic would you prefer, demerol, morphine, ...?"
[EDIT] Could I have the menu?
Close second on the quote from the same doc (imagine a perky cheerleader saying this, well a perky russian cheerleader saying this in her brightest, happiest voice) "Sorry!" It was just bizzare.
I'm not bitter, really!