Ass crack of momumental scale was the highlight...

Post by **bio** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 8:53 am

Because Eddie is incapable of learning from my mistakes, he's elected to wed the girl of his dreams (well... a girl anyway). So we took him out on Saturday night for one last chance at freedom.

I was told to meet up with them at 6:00 pm. As always, I was there promptly and was the first one there. Eddie rolled in a little late at 6:45(home crisis... I'll let him tell you about it). It gave me a chance to have some dinner to offset the effects of the amount of beer I had planned consuming. I had the 12oz Sirloin steak... slathered in mushrooms and cooked to perfection at medium rare, with a baker fully loaded on the side. Pure heaven!

We started at Players and Spectators, pumped a few shots of jager into his pasty white ass (well... not literally) and tried to make a determination on what to do next (yeah... there was a lot of planning that went into this venture). At about this point (8:30ish), we lost two of our small party.

Now I understand why one of them left and we were grateful that he showed up to begin with. The other just bailed out on us (wimp!).

We decided it was move on and headed over to Season Ticket downtown. I had never been there before, but my first impression was that this place is a mecca for beautiful women. Even the bartender was hot beyond belief (yeah.. I'm gonna dream about her for a while!).

Still more jager was infused with Eddie's blood while I stuck with Dechute's Black Butte Porter (mmmmm... tasty!!). We tried to guess the name of our waitress, a petite blonde with a fantastic figure (and no bra). My guess was "Heather"... Eddie won with "Lisa".

At one point, Matt (the best man) said "guys... check it out behind you and to your right!!â€. Because Iâ€™m an idiot, and because we had been checking out the scenery since we walked in, I slyly turned my head to see the beauty he had pointed out.

Instead, I was treated to some guys ass totally hanging out of his pants two feet from Eddieâ€™s head.

WTF!?! Can you NOT tell that your whole ass is hanging out? Can you not feel the air freely blowing down that hairy canyon you call your crack? Do you think that women find this â€œhotâ€??? *shudder*

Of course, I laughed till I had tears running down my face and grand canyon ass was blissfully unaware of the mockery going on just feet away from his gaping chasm of doom.

We never did make it to the nudie bar, and we werenâ€™t able to get the waitress to give Eddie a reason not to get married, so all ended well and no one ended up in jail.

Next time though, Iâ€™m brining my camera!

Post by **eddiecanuck** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 9:05 am

yeah, it was a good time. And we will definitely be going back to the Season Ticket to check out the waitresses again. Man that bartender gal was tall and gorgeous.

There was also a round of golf in the morning (6 a.m. to be exact), which saw a one in a million shot. My buddy Matt drilled a marmet about 50 yards off of one of the tee boxes. Total accident, but we busted a gut for about 5 minutes. Poor thing wobbled off to the woods, probably to die. I didn't shoot for shit, but we had a great time. Finally felt good about 6pm last night. Damn jager, but in the plus column I managed not to puke, but barely.

Post by **bio** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 12:18 pm

Post by **eddiecanuck** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 1:00 pm

wow, that is exactly what it looked like!!!
How'd you get that video? Hidden camera?

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 2:48 pm

eddiecanuck wrote:My buddy Matt drilled a marmet about 50 yards off of one of the tee boxes. Total accident, but we busted a gut for about 5 minutes. Poor thing wobbled off to the woods, probably to die.

You lose respect points for laughing about this.

Post by **bio** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 4:51 pm

I've seen Caddy Shack enough times to know how things worked out.

The little rodent crawls into the bushes, then waits for the golfers to pass... then suddently the music queues up and he come dancing out... "I'm alright.... don't nobody worry 'bout me...."

Well.... perhaps not... but it would have been good.

Moxie · Post by **Moxie** » Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:59 pm

LOL

Thanks Bio

Post by **bio** » Tue Jul 15, 2003 8:06 am

Not a problem... that's what I'm here for